My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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