yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
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I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
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Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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