evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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