First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize