trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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