I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize