he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
