he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
