Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
