Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
