So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
