The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
