me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
