my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
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You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
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Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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