WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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