addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
