It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
