Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
