so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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