You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
