Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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