Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
What a dumb baby whore.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
