you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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