just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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