I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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