its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
