Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Barsexuality is the new black.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The air taste purple.
Randomize
