I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
