I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
