mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
