why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
