bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Two words: nipple clamps
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