She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize