btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
