I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
My pussy is not your playground.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize