She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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