My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize