So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
