she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
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I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
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So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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