She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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