apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
