Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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