Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
