i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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