Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
