My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
