what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
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there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
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I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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