So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
