My cat gives me a boner
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize