At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
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No I am not eating basil off your cock
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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