she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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