just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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