Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
