I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
