Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
did i walk over a car last night?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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