Define "chronic" masturbator.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
