I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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