So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
