so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
vagina is talking i cant
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize