i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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