We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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