walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
