Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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