Hey man sorry I got all grabby
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
