I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die