Texts From Last Night

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I don't usually arrange sex via text message

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  (216): I don't usually arrange sex via text message http://tfl.nu/akrs
  Replies (8) Good night (1364) Bad night (619)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.

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  (204): The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume. http://tfl.nu/wyb3
  Replies (26) Good night (5815) Bad night (1669)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America

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  (615): I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America http://tfl.nu/yesg
  Replies (20) Good night (4335) Bad night (1043)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question

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  (303): No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question http://tfl.nu/r4al
  Replies (7) Good night (3328) Bad night (1116)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much

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  (443): I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much http://tfl.nu/p5rg
  Replies (10) Good night (1376) Bad night (2396)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?

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  (717): I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going? http://tfl.nu/uz7v
  Replies (3) Good night (1995) Bad night (773)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face

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  (603): Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face http://tfl.nu/t1ea
  Replies (19) Good night (1670) Bad night (626)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?

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  (914): I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com? http://tfl.nu/sqoo
  Replies (4) Good night (1342) Bad night (612)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.

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  (778): I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/uqop
  Replies (6) Good night (566) Bad night (1168)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY

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  (309): QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY http://tfl.nu/578t
  Replies (2) Good night (558) Bad night (306)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm

  (561): View more from Florida

  Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots

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  (561): In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm (561): Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots http://tfl.nu/w2ja
  Replies (1) Good night (505) Bad night (285)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.

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  (561): Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/luvf
  Replies (4) Good night (870) Bad night (330)
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  (516): View more from New York

  He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.

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  (516): He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree. http://tfl.nu/ta05
  Replies (4) Good night (701) Bad night (459)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.

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  (312): Adulthood is making your own puke bucket. http://tfl.nu/iq4c
  Replies (0) Good night (217) Bad night (253)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?

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  (503): I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again? http://tfl.nu/nuy1
  Replies (2) Good night (222) Bad night (487)

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