he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
