It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
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Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
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I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body