Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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